Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Tuesday-Cars I covet

     So, most people have dreams cars. A certain vehicle that they've wanted for a long time, be it a high performance sports car, an expensive SUV, or maybe an old muscle car. But these vehicles are extremely out of reach on a typical middle class budget, hence the car's "dream car" status. I have dream cars, sure, but what I have more of are cars I covet, which are typicaly cars I could afford, but cannot justify owning one.
      The 70's were not good to the automotive world. Well, I mean if you're into low riders and stuff I suppose they were OK. But lets face it, all these American land yachts were missing was a wooden deck, a couple of girls in bikini's, and some dude with excessive chest hair peaking out over their V-collar shirt. OK, some of them might have had that last part...classy. This makes my choice for this edition of Car I Covet a strange one. My pick? The 1974 Chevy Malibu. I know what you're thinking, "Like, lolz! Where's you're mullet, bro?!" Well, I don't have a mullet, what I do have is a very creative mind set. What do you see below?
      If you answered "A stock photo of a 1974 Malibu with a very 70's-esque model standing behind it, smiling, and pretending she's interested" you would be correct, and are awarded a free, expired, half off meal ticket from Burger King (no, really, I have them) But what do I see? The perfect blank canvas for a cool as-the-other-side-of-the-pillow street sweeper. Can't see it? look below.
    I know, right? You want that, stop denying it. No, seriously, stop. You have to at least give it credit, if you saw this thing at your local cruise night you'd you'd probably need someone to pick your jaw up from the ground. Now, these things are cheap, mostly because they're, for obvious reasons, undesirable. They're also cheap because they're 70's steel, meaning they're becoming part of the earth they came from. Finding one that hasn't been abused, parked under a tree, and never taken out on a date since the original Star Wars? About as possible as convincing the world that Tom Cruise is normal. However, the upgrade options for something like this are endless. Oh, you'd like a modern LS engine transplant? Easy as pie. A classic, carbureted 454 you say? Why not? You want a tiger to power you're Malibu? Congratulations, after we bag one, you will officially have the first car in history with one tiger power. The interior space? Are you talking about the ballroom with seats and a steering wheel or the trunk that doubles as a full basement? There's a good reason this was a mobster's car of choice(Because of comfort, I don't know what you were thinking.)
      What I'm saying is, these things are pretty cool, if I had the time I'd gladly buy and restore one, but I don't so I won't. But I should. But I can't. Bummer. Anyways, see you next Tuesday, here's a teaser...

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